May 08, 2006 - 11:08 p.m.

a few changes

I'm still alive.

I keep telling myself I should go back to journalizing here regularly. As with a few more things in my life, it keeps not happening. I read a bunch of older entries this night. I liked them. I thought they were good. I want to continue making entries like that. On the other hand, this is the overly honest journal, isn't password protected, and there's now quite a few more people who could find it and learn more than they really wanted to. But... too bad for them.

Last I updated I was pregnant and having problems with Josh. Life has definitely improved since then. Major changes: I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, now 13 mos old; Josh's and my relationship has greatly improved; and we've got our own appartment. There's been a lot of ups and downs between then and now though as well. My relationship with Josh pretty much went downhill from the time I got pregnant; we moved out of my parent's place last November in what was pretty much a last-ditch attempt to save things. Thankfully, our last-ditch attempt worked very well and most if not all of our issues have been cleared up. Motherhood was also a lot more difficult than expected. There was no bonding (at least not on my end), no strong maternal feelings. Baby was just another chore, and a very annoyingly difficult one. Thankfully, my maternal instincts have finally kicked in, about a week or so ago. Now, of course, the baby's gone with his grandparents more than he's here. be continued